(Cpt. Chad Pittman and a comrade in Iraq)

Plenty of people say they “support the troops.” But when I met with Indiana National Guard soldiers in the 76th Infantry Brigade as they departed for Iraq, I wanted to know, what can the average person really do to help the troops? One after another gave me the same response, “Take care of our families back home.”

With that thought in mind, photographer Otis Jones and I went to Zionsville and visited the family of Captain Chad Pittman, one of the soldiers I interviewed back in March at departure ceremonies in Ft. Stewart, Georgia. The goal was to give people insight into the challenges a military family faces, and ideas on things to do that will really provide meaningful help and support. A few good ideas I learned: offer restaurant gift cards, handyman or yard services, child care, and thoughts and prayers. Follow this link for contacts who can show you how to help. www.inarng.org/Family%20Program/readiness.htm

It was a great pleasure for us getting to know the Pittman family. I hope you will have a chance to see their story. (It airs Monday at 6pm and will be available for viewing on theindychannel.com) We are already hearing from military famlies who are anxious to see attention being given to this issue.

Cpt. Pittman was also kind enough to respond to some of my questions via email. His answers are quite insightful and touching, and I thought they were worth posting here. He calls the military spouses the “true heroes” of this endeavor.

As always I welcome your thoughts and stories here!

Trisha Shepherd

What do you think has been the most challenging part of your deployment for Cristi?

Cpt. Pittman: I think the most challenging part of the deployment for both of us is missing each other’s company and sharing experiences together. Time together with our kids is something we will not be able to make up and I know it is hard for them to understand what we are doing when they see everybody else’s dads at school events, church and other activities and wonder why I am not there.

Practically speaking, I think the challenge for her is continuing to manage all the things required to sustain life with 3 kids and a pregnancy such as educating and mentoring our children to maintaining our property and investments with no relief from me.

What are the most helpful ways for other community members do to support your family back home?

Cpt. Pittman: We are blessed to be part of a close family, church and have great friends. After discussing this question with some of my soldiers, we thought there are two broad ways people can help families - emotional support and physical support. Things we thought of that fit in the physical category are the types of chores that are typically associated with men such as gutter cleaning, mowing the grass, shoveling snow, cleaning the garage and fixing mailboxes that get knocked down. I would also include in this category helping the kids with some skills such as throwing a baseball to shooting baskets. Emotionally speaking, our wives need to hear sincere thank yous and we appreciate what you are doing. Generally speaking, while I know the intentions are good, I don’t think that the “it must be so hard”, “I can’t believe he is doing this to you and the kids” or “you must be miserable” is very effective at helping our spouses feel positive. Our wives already know what they are doing is tough.

I appreciate peoples desire to ease our sacrifice. The fact is, our sacrifice is our burden to bear. Our greatest desire and purpose for doing this is so that our friends and others in our community don’t have to and won’t have to. Cristi and I want people to be able to enjoy their family and friends and to continue to pursue their dreams and ambitions without the fear of us losing this global conflict and the repercussions that would follow. It is a privilege for us to have the opportunity to serve in the capacity that we currently are.

What helps you most in terms of feeling connected to your family while you are serving?

Cpt. Pittman: In contrast to OIF 1, on this tour we have decent access to the internet so we can maintain pretty good contact via email, phones and on occasion video chat. There is nothing I love more than being able to see Cristi and the kids on the other side of the world via a successful video chat connection. On my last night with Cristi and the kids, we talked about the year ahead and I tried to put some perspective on it for them. Looking at the night sky with the brilliant stars, we picked out the stars of Orion to remind us that we are not far from each other. The kids picked out a star for each one of us. On my first combat patrol in Iraq, I glanced up at the night sky with my night vision device as I was scanning for hostile threats. Orion was brilliant in my optic and I sensed a warm calm as I felt for that moment that I was almost with Cristi and the kids. It will be a benchmark life moment for me that I will go to in the future when I need to find my direction and strength.

Have your tours of duty given you perspective about your family that is useful when you are back home?

Cpt. Pittman: My family is the center of my life and I am protective of the limited time we have together. I find great joy in the day to day things with our kids that I would take for granted without my experiences here. I would take for granted the life shaping moments helping to resolve childhood crisis such as what to wear to church to who gets the last purple Popsicle in the freezer. Seeing the Iraqi children and the things that they have to do makes me realize how much potential my kids have and need to be pushed in order to realize the true limits of their capabilities. It is a tough world and I owe it to them to teach them how to compete and how to love so that they can have an opportunity to realize their dreams and make the world a little better place at the end of their journey than we gave them at the beginning.