(Cpt. Chad Pittman and a comrade in Iraq)

Plenty of people say they “support the troops.” But when I met with Indiana National Guard soldiers in the 76th Infantry Brigade as they departed for Iraq, I wanted to know, what can the average person really do to help the troops? One after another gave me the same response, “Take care of our families back home.”

With that thought in mind, photographer Otis Jones and I went to Zionsville and visited the family of Captain Chad Pittman, one of the soldiers I interviewed back in March at departure ceremonies in Ft. Stewart, Georgia. The goal was to give people insight into the challenges a military family faces, and ideas on things to do that will really provide meaningful help and support. A few good ideas I learned: offer restaurant gift cards, handyman or yard services, child care, and thoughts and prayers. Follow this link for contacts who can show you how to help. www.inarng.org/Family%20Program/readiness.htm

It was a great pleasure for us getting to know the Pittman family. I hope you will have a chance to see their story. (It airs Monday at 6pm and will be available for viewing on theindychannel.com) We are already hearing from military famlies who are anxious to see attention being given to this issue.

Cpt. Pittman was also kind enough to respond to some of my questions via email. His answers are quite insightful and touching, and I thought they were worth posting here. He calls the military spouses the “true heroes” of this endeavor.

As always I welcome your thoughts and stories here!

Trisha Shepherd

What do you think has been the most challenging part of your deployment for Cristi?

Cpt. Pittman: I think the most challenging part of the deployment for both of us is missing each other’s company and sharing experiences together. Time together with our kids is something we will not be able to make up and I know it is hard for them to understand what we are doing when they see everybody else’s dads at school events, church and other activities and wonder why I am not there.

Practically speaking, I think the challenge for her is continuing to manage all the things required to sustain life with 3 kids and a pregnancy such as educating and mentoring our children to maintaining our property and investments with no relief from me.

What are the most helpful ways for other community members do to support your family back home?

Cpt. Pittman: We are blessed to be part of a close family, church and have great friends. After discussing this question with some of my soldiers, we thought there are two broad ways people can help families - emotional support and physical support. Things we thought of that fit in the physical category are the types of chores that are typically associated with men such as gutter cleaning, mowing the grass, shoveling snow, cleaning the garage and fixing mailboxes that get knocked down. I would also include in this category helping the kids with some skills such as throwing a baseball to shooting baskets. Emotionally speaking, our wives need to hear sincere thank yous and we appreciate what you are doing. Generally speaking, while I know the intentions are good, I don’t think that the “it must be so hard”, “I can’t believe he is doing this to you and the kids” or “you must be miserable” is very effective at helping our spouses feel positive. Our wives already know what they are doing is tough.

I appreciate peoples desire to ease our sacrifice. The fact is, our sacrifice is our burden to bear. Our greatest desire and purpose for doing this is so that our friends and others in our community don’t have to and won’t have to. Cristi and I want people to be able to enjoy their family and friends and to continue to pursue their dreams and ambitions without the fear of us losing this global conflict and the repercussions that would follow. It is a privilege for us to have the opportunity to serve in the capacity that we currently are.

What helps you most in terms of feeling connected to your family while you are serving?

Cpt. Pittman: In contrast to OIF 1, on this tour we have decent access to the internet so we can maintain pretty good contact via email, phones and on occasion video chat. There is nothing I love more than being able to see Cristi and the kids on the other side of the world via a successful video chat connection. On my last night with Cristi and the kids, we talked about the year ahead and I tried to put some perspective on it for them. Looking at the night sky with the brilliant stars, we picked out the stars of Orion to remind us that we are not far from each other. The kids picked out a star for each one of us. On my first combat patrol in Iraq, I glanced up at the night sky with my night vision device as I was scanning for hostile threats. Orion was brilliant in my optic and I sensed a warm calm as I felt for that moment that I was almost with Cristi and the kids. It will be a benchmark life moment for me that I will go to in the future when I need to find my direction and strength.

Have your tours of duty given you perspective about your family that is useful when you are back home?

Cpt. Pittman: My family is the center of my life and I am protective of the limited time we have together. I find great joy in the day to day things with our kids that I would take for granted without my experiences here. I would take for granted the life shaping moments helping to resolve childhood crisis such as what to wear to church to who gets the last purple Popsicle in the freezer. Seeing the Iraqi children and the things that they have to do makes me realize how much potential my kids have and need to be pushed in order to realize the true limits of their capabilities. It is a tough world and I owe it to them to teach them how to compete and how to love so that they can have an opportunity to realize their dreams and make the world a little better place at the end of their journey than we gave them at the beginning.

This was the moment I had been waiting for, for weeks. Dave Furst was kind enough to arrange for me to ride in an Indycar 2-seater. Many people told me this would give me a true perspective of just how fast those cars are going on the track. I had no idea what I was in for.

When I got to the track, I was like a kid in a candy store. The cars, the equipment, and then those racing suits. For a moment I thought I was an actual driver. After I put on the suit, other participants and I walked toward the track to wait our turn.

When I sat in my car, driven by Arie Luyendyk, Junior, I barely had room to turn my head. Talk about a tight squeeze. Then Aurie and I went around the track at what I thought was a pretty pedestrian speed. He was zig-zagging the car and I thought, “Geez. Is this it? This isn’t fast at all.” Then, for some unkownn reason, I yelled “Come on, I know you can go faster than this!” Little did I know he was just warming up the car and the tires. And then, a few seconds later, BOOM!!!! We reached speeds no human should go without taking off.

As we approached the wall I thought to myself “It might be a good idea for him to slow down now!” Are you kidding. That was the last thing on his mind. He hit that turn and kept on going. It was FANTASTIC. I was screaming like I had just gone down the first hill on a giant roller coaster. I was told we went about 180 miles per hour.

I now have a newfound respect for the drivers and their crews. Imagine, they often go about 50 miles per hour faster than I did today while jockeying for position with 32 other drivers just inches apart.

So it’s official. I am now hooked on the Indy 500!!!! Heck, I’ve even given myself a nickname. “Open Wheel Wallace” recommends this experience for anyone who isn’t afraid of speeds and likes to live on the edge! I assure you it will be an experience you will never forget.

    Some musicians I know (including this rather cute one I married 7 years ago) might argue it’s not truly a gig if you’re not getting paid.  

   But I think it’s more fun to call it a “gig” than a concert, let me tell you a little bit about the not-for-profit singing gig I have this weekend.   (If nothing else it will prove I do occasionally try to have a tiny bit of a life outside of kids and work, challenging as it is!)

   Encore Vocal Arts (which used to be known as the Indianapolis Arts Chorale) has asked me to be a guest soloist in their concert this Friday and Saturday, at 7:30 at St. Luke’s United Methodist Church.

      It’s not quite fair to call it just a concert.  Their website bills ”Inherit the Earth” as a ”multi-sensory experience” with visual images, nature sounds intermingled with the music, and even an earth fair happening outside the concert area.  The featured piece is Paul Winter’s Gaia Missa/Earth Mass.  The part I’m singing is a really beautiful and simple gospel melody, accompanied by the choir and orchestra.  Tonight after the 7pm news I rehearsed with the instrumentalists (they gave me chills) and later this week I’ll practice with the whole 150 member choir.

    If you’re curious, check out more on the concert and a youtube preview here!   http://www.artschorale.org/event_earths-mass.html

 Friday night Rafael Sanchez will be the emcee  (thanks, Raf!!) and I’ll actually dash over between newscasts to sing my piece!  But apparently that’s not nerve-wracking enough, so on Saturday, I will be emceeing and singing.   

   As my husband reminds me when I get a little (or a lot) frantic and stressed-out, I do get myself into these things.  But there is nothing quite like singing with a choir.  If I feed my music habit just once in a while with something really beautiful, I can make it quite a while just singing in the car, or shower, or to my kids, before I get that familiar itch to lend my voice to something grander. 

    Sometimes with the heaviness of the news we report on, it really helps to have a way to get your mind and soul in a more positive place.  Music therapy seems to work pretty consistently for me. (Example: I have found it’s scientifically impossible to feel stressed out if you’re listening to James Taylor. Try it - I dare you. James lives in my car, just in case, all the time.)

     I also wrote a brief “little something” to read Saturday night that fits in with the evening’s nature theme, as the conductor asked me to do.  If I’m brave enough I’ll share it on this blog. 

But I may chicken out. So if you really want to hear it, come to the show. 

Oops - I meant ”gig.”

Hope to see you there.

     Trish

P.S.   Thursday night update: My kids and husband came along to dress rehearsal tonight.  The choir and organist serenaded me with a grand rendition of “Happy Birthday.”   They sound amazing! Clara clung to my leg as I tried to rehearse my solo on stage. Quite a moment.

   I keep thinking to myself, 10 years ago this May 15th, I was turning 24, and probably wouldn’t have felt nearly this exhausted after such a long and busy day!

   Time to go count my new gray hairs.

    When you’re a parent, it’s pretty easy to obsess over every little thing your kids are doing, good and bad, cute and mortifying. 

    I do my best, though, to take a laid-back approach and not neurotically overthink their every stage of development.  As I’ve told some people, my inner “Alpha Mom” and “Beta Mom” instincts are almost constantly in conflict.  More on that some other day.

       When my youngest, Clara, started begging me to go to school at age 2 and a half, I had to give it some thought.  I hadn’t planned on sending her anywhere until at least age 3 - perhaps selfishly wanting the one-on-one time.  But when I saw how her face lit up as we visited a 2’s and 3’s class full of playdoh, paints, sand, puppets, books, and KIDS her age, I couldn’t deny her the chance to become a schoolgirl.  (But only twice a week for 2 hours! The rest of the time she’s mine!)

 I was pretty surprised when I got the note that it was time to schedule parent-teacher conferences. 

Should I be concerned about her painting technique??  Her play-doh skills are okay, but what about funneling sand?  And shouldn’t she be a little more confident in singing the “Bunny Song”?  And how will she ever get into college with that wild scribbling she calls artwork? 

These are questions that would have Alpha Mom up all night tonight fretting. 

       I don’t know what to expect out of our conference tomorrow - but I know we are lucky Clara is in a class with a teacher who really, really cares about her tiny students.   Knowing this teacher, who has close to 30 years experience teaching tots this age, she’ll probably give us a little more insight into what our girl is like when we’re not around - what things amuse and interest her, what sets her off, and whether she is learning how to be a good friend.

   And yes - I am allowing myself to secretly hope that Mrs. B will share at least a few things that she finds absolutely precious, charming and adorable about our little one.

      I think I’ll let Beta Mom take over on this one. 

After this week I could really use the sleep tonight. 

I’ll fill you in soon!

Thanks for reading my ramblings -as always your thoughts and stories are welcome.

Trish    

     Update Friday:  The conference was fine.  It appears Clara is very good at turning on the charm at school, and saving 2-year-old tantrums for home.  Her teacher even noticed she is “exceptionally good at cleaning up.” I wonder if that will be true when she’s 15?

Today both kids brought home Mother’s Day treasures from their schools:  Hand-shaped paper and pipe-cleaner flowers from Cal, and a very purple photo card from Clara. What more could a Mom want?

Happy Mothers Day to all of you mothers and grandmothers!! Treat yourself to some peace and quiet if you can!!

TS

Could the political spotlight possibly be any brighter than it is here in Indiana right now?

Even if you’re sick to death of all the political ads, you are probably at least a little bit glad that Indiana is finally being taken very, very seriously in this presidential primary!

With a major candidate holding a get out the vote rally literally blocks away from our TV station tonight, Todd and I decided we couldn’t pass up the opportunity to pop in for a little while between newscasts, and try to capture the flavor of a major primary-eve rally.   

    Whichever candidate you support, if you’re enough of a political junkie you can’t help get a bit caught up in the spectacle of major campaign events.  I know I can’t.

 This crowd was undeniably electric. (Stevie Wonder certainly helped that - althought I’ll bet Sen. Clinton would disagree with his opening song choice: “Signed, Sealed, Delivered”)

     Here are some of the behind-the-scenes shots we thought you might find interesting:   The not-so-secret service making sure there are no crazies in the crowd.

  Obama Mamas. (the back of their shirt shows 2 hands clapping and reads, “I smack for Barack.”

   Snipers overhead.

  Press, press, press, and more press.

      Officers nice enough to help us find us a spot to park Todd’s car amongst the media vans!

   The sea of captivated supporters cheering on their candidate under the night sky.

Todd and I have seen plenty of political events, and maybe it was the night air and the downtown skyline, maybe it was the music, maybe it was the energy of the crowd, but as we looked at that field of thousands and thousands, he said it best:  ”Win or lose, this is simply incredible.”  

    No matter who you support, it’s no less than inspiring to see people excited about democracy, and actively exercising their right to choose their next leader.

   We hope you’ll tune in tomorrow night for another chapter in Indiana history.

T & T