I love surprises!!! Not receiving them.  That’s no fun.  I like to be in on the secret.  I’m like a little kid as I giggle to myself about what the unsuspecting recipient will be in for.

  Such was the case a couple of weeks ago. I was planning a birthday party for my darling wife, Valarie, and she had no idea.  I invited over 20 of her very close friends to attend.  A few were even coming in from out of town.  It took several weeks to coordinate the evening.   The challenge, of course, was to avoid suspicion by doing the obvious. In other words be cool and act like nothing was going on.  Easier said than done.

  Our daughter’s Godmother was in on the bash.  And she warned me to delete every phone call, text message and voice mail from my cell.  She told me not to leave any receipts around the house, or my car.  I even had to change the password to my email address!!!  After three weeks, my head was spinning. 

We had the party at Fleming’s Steakhouse.  I told guests to arrive at 6:30 that Saturday night.  I told them I would have Valarie at the restaurant by 7:00.  Of course, now I was paranoid about everything that could go wrong.  I had a hundred different scenarios running through my head.  What if she got sick the day of the party.  What if I had a flat tire on the way to the party.  What if someone called my cell about the party.. and she picked up.  What if she changed her mind and wanted to go to a different restaurant!!!  What if the babysitter had to change her plans!! What if, what if, what if!!! Ah!!!!!!  Thankfully, God had his hand in every detail and everything happened according to plan - almost.

  We got to the restaurant, went to the back room, walked through the door and……. no one immediatley turned on the light to yell surprise.  Valarie had enough time to see the silhouette of one of the guests.  She even realized it was a surprise party before the “great reveal!”  The good news is, she was so shocked it didn’t matter.  She was moved to tears.  It was truly a beautiful night. 

  And I pulled it off!!!!  It was a lot of work, but well worth it for my baby!!!

  Happy birthday, honey!!!

HIGH SCHOOL REUNION - DON’T MISS IT

Apparently I just earned a few points toward the “coolest wife ever” award.

My one-armed husband and I just got back from his 20 year HS reunion for the Belleville (Illinois) West HS Class of 88.       

     Instead of finding excuses to skip it (like most reasonable spouses who don’t know any of their husband’s long-lost classmates) I practically FORCED him to accept the invitation. 

 ”You can’t NOT go to something like this,” I insisted.  “We’re going. You won’t regret it.”  So we called in some grandparent reinforcements to man the house and kids, packed up his portable ice cooler/arm sling rig, and headed toward greater St. Louis.

And guess what - we both had a great time.  For Ian, it was a chance to see people he literally hadn’t seen or heard from at all in 20 years.  Former basketball teammates, close high school buddies, even a few ex-crushes (he had pretty good taste, I’ll admit) 

TRISH PLAYS REPORTER  

 For me, a nosy journalist by nature, it’s a fascinating social situation to witness.  I had amazing conversations with total strangers who seemed incredibly willing to dish detailed information about their lives, their choices, their families, their struggles and joys.  It was a smorgasboard of stories, and I’ll never be able to resist an opportunity like that.

 WORKING MOMS BOND

 I had a GREAT talk with one of his former classmates, Lynne (left with Ian) who’s also a working mom - a physician with twins! 

     I was almost on the floor laughing at her descriptions of the ridiculous overachiever extremes she went to in juggling the professional demands of her career with perfectionist parenting…before finally getting real.  Ian said it looked like we were long lost best friends. 

What I had trouble getting was any DIRT on Ian - it seems he was very well liked and at least publicly, well-behaved. Back then.

 OH..LOOK GUYS, THOSE AWFUL METAL DOORS!!

 We went on the tour of the aging school. I kept thinking how incredulous these kids would have been at age 18, if you would’ve told them that 20 years from now they’d be looking at mundane things like chalkboards, lockers,  and the cafeteria tray shelf, getting all nostalgic.  One gal on the tour actually stopped to take a photo in front of the ugly metal doors to the cafeteria, because they brought back so many memories.

   It was one huge chorus of “Oh, remember this….remember when we…. I remember!….” 

 IAN’S MEMORY?

Ian tried opening his old locker and ALMOST remembered the combination. Maybe after a dozen more tries…

HOOPS, ANYONE?

He and a very cool former basketball teammate, Brian, who was also class president, stood in amazement staring at the old hoops in their gym. (Good thing there was no ball around - I’m sure my one-armed man would’ve given it a try to see if he still had the stuff.) Brian, if you happen to read this, great job organizing a fun weekend!

INDY CONNECTION

I even met someone with family here in Indy - Beth took a photo with me to see if her relatives would recognize one of their news gals.  (If not, maybe I’ll recruit them to RTV!)

     In the end, it was awesome to see Ian re-living some fun memories, and to see how many people had such wonderful things to say about him.   Someone told me, “Ian is one of those guys who you always wondered what happened to, and I’m so glad to see he’s doing so well, still playing music, and has ended up with someone so cool.”    Quite the compliment. I can’t wait till the tables turn - 4 more years till my 20th!

Feel free to share reunion stories if you have a good one. Thanks for reading-

Trisha

Nope - not that famous guy from Def Leppard, just my gimpy husband, Ian.  He is recovering from shoulder surgery (ouch) so I was off a few days last week playing a dual role of Nurse and SuperMom.

You guessed right if you assumed the surgery had something to do with years and years of drumming.  But that’s just half of the equation.  Throw in an old basketball injury, some damage from a fall, and you’re almost there.  But the clincher was our teeny little nearly-3-year-old daughter, Clara. (I mentioned in a blog entry a couple of months ago how he dislocated his shoulder while playing with her.  The sweetheart really did Daddy in.) The ligament was so shredded, he could barely get through a normal day let alone a gig, so he had to bite the bullet and get it fixed. He is basically doing okay, just sore and tired.

I’ve learned a few things.

1. Kids can be really sweet.

Here’s Clara hiding behind her blankie as she hung out with him right before the surgery. (She held his hand so he wouldn’t cry when they put in his IV.)

2. It stinks to see your spouse in pain.

Really.  And Ian has had plenty.  It has brought out a fierce protectiveness in me that I didn’t really know was there.  I hate not being able to fix a problem for someone, and there’s only so much you can do when someone’s aching like this.  I can’t help but keep thinking of my co-worker, Don and his wife Susan (from the Prayer Warriors blog). When I see how much they’re going through, and this all seems much smaller, and they seem much braver and stronger than I can imagine being.

3. Ice is good.

I’ve gotten pretty good at working what we call his “contraption” -  a giant sling that holds his arm out, with a shoulder cuff that hooks up to a pump and fills up with ice water.   He says he feels like an astronaut on a moon walk, tethered in by the blue tube.

4. Friends and family are very, very good.

We’ve had several guardian angels step in in various awesome ways. Kristina took the kids during surgery, Dean and Adrianna offered a few laughs at a critical time, Jill offered me an evening of girl talk plus wine and guacamole (mmm!) after I’d hit the burnout point. Several co-workers (mine and his) emailed and called to offer their support and make sure he was doing okay.  Ian’s dad has come down from Canada to help his one-armed son run our house now that I’m back to work.  My parents and Ian’s mom and stepdad are also planning to come down for shifts helping us out.

I feel WAY too lucky sometimes.

5. Shepherds are unstoppable

In spite of my pleading, Ian decided to be Superman and work a bit on Saturday night, 2 days after surgery.  Hooked up to his arm-cuff and in the sling, and heavily medicated, there he was on the sidelines watching the kids he’s been coaching perform in a marching band competition. (Yes, I did the driving, don’t worry.)

I told him I kind of liked the fact that he was the spectacle for once.  Only a couple of people singled me out as the “newslady” in the crowd.  Everyone we walked past was gawking at him and the contraption, their eyes wide with sympathy and awe.

6. Life goes on

Kids don’t stop for surgery.  They’ve got as much energy as ever.  In between filling Ian’s pump, helping him dress, etc., and getting meals fixed I’ve been doing my best to get Calvin and Clara out of the house so he can try to get some rest.   I love Conner Prairie so we headed out there Friday.  As always Cal wanted to visit the Indian village to see if his friendly Lenape buddy was there with his drum. (He was.) At least one Shepherd boy can still play drums right now.

I also took Cal to a friend’s birthday at the Bounce Zone - it is absolutely stunning the energy these kids have. I think I saw a few of them levitate off the floor.

Last night Grandpa Shepherd and I took the kids shopping for new shoes.  (Here he is patiently helping Calvin learn to tie them.) Calvin thinks his new shoes are so big he looks like a teenager.

“What if some teenagers saw me in these shoes?” he keeps asking. “What would they say? Would they think I’m a teenager too?’

Todd, by the way, cannot wait to see Cal in the new shoes, so he can subtly ask me within ear shot of the big guy, “Wow, I thought Calvin was only 5. Is he a teenager now??”

Thanks for reading and have a great week!

Trisha

FACING TEMPTATION

Maybe I have bitten off too much this time, but this was a temptation I couldn’t resist.

Yep - that’s me, as a brunette Snow White (don’t laugh out loud, Todd, I promise I can be Disney-sweet when I want to!)

Next month I’m playing the role for Beef and Boards’ children’s theatre program.  (Oct 10-Nov 15,  Friday and Saturday matinees) I’ve been a theatre geek my whole life, but I’ve had a hiatus the last few years since I’ve been so immersed in my kids and work.  Finally, I’ve been offered a role that actually fits my schedule and is as appealing as that shiny red apple (minus the poison, I hope!)

MAGAZINE COVER

My kids actually got into costume with me last week to get photographed for the cover of an upcoming IndyMoms magazine.  Here’s a shot of the photographer helping us strike a pose.  She offered Clara a chance to take a picture herself if she smiled nicely - brilliant! (The editors wanted us all in costume to fit their Halloween theme - the kids loved it! I think Calvin makes a perfectly hilarious little dwarf)

YOUR PARENTING PHILOSOPHY

I answered a Q & A for the magazine that really got me thinking. One of the questions: “What is your parenting philosophy?”  I have so many thoughts about parenting it was tough to boil it all down into a couple of magazine-friendly comments.  Here’s what I came up with:

 ”Shower your kids with time, affection, and new experiences. Don’t be afraid to get messy. Share your own passions with them, and don’t underestimate how much they understand. When things get rough, humor usually fixes things a lot faster than anger.”

I’d love to hear some of your philosophies too, moms and dads!

SITTER SITUATION

Anyone else finding it next-to-impossible to find a sitter on a Friday night?  Luckily this doesn’t happen often, but the two college students we use regularly as sitters are busy, and all the teenagers in the neighborhood are going to football games (who could blame them).  It’s not such a big deal if all you have to cancel is a date night, but Ian and I both have to work this Friday night, so things were looking desperate. 

   After trying no less than each of the 14 RELIABLE SITTERS on my list, I struck gold with a wonderful fellow mom of 2 willing to help shepherd the Shepherd kids out so that both of us can go to work.  She’s always come through for us in a pinch, and although I usually hesitate to ask a mother of two to take on two more, she seems to handle it beautifully.  

  It does amaze me the hoops we have to jump through sometimes on our schedules - it takes a village and then some.  If only the grandmas and grandpas, aunts and uncles lived just a bit closer, we’d be SET!  I guess I will settle for being within fairly easy driving distance. Just this past weekend we packed up and visited my fam near Chicago  - a great visit that went by way too fast.