Update: September 23, 2011

       It’s hard to believe but today is my last day on the air at WRTV!  I have made so many great memories here, and feel honored to have worked with such a talented team.  Many, many thanks to my co-workers and viewers for the warm welcome and support I’ve been shown since arriving in Indy in 2007.  I will carry all those kind thoughts with me as I begin my new adventure with  Riley Children’s Foundation.  For those of you who are interested in following that journey, my parenting blogs will continue on Indyschild.com.

   I’m terrible at goodbyes, and so I think it’s best to leave you by quoting my favorite entertainer, Elvis:

Thank you. Thankyouverymuch.         Trisha

Sept. 8, 2011

  Anyone who has ever checked out this blog knows I am unapologetically wild about my wild little bunch of children, Calvin, Clara, and Daisy May.

I also think if you’ve ever watched me on the air you can probably tell I happen to be pretty attached to this intriguing world I have now been working within for 15 years called television news.   For the last 4 years I’ve been surrounded by talented, wonderful co-workers at RTV 6, and have been excited about all the positive momentum building right now for this station.

But for the first time, I’ve come to the realization that these two big parts of me – the TV career and my family – can no longer coexist in peace.   And guess which of those two has to come first.

My husband, Ian, and I have learned some pretty valuable lessons in juggling over the years as we did our best to make sure our kids weren’t getting shortchanged.  With our busy careers and unconventional work schedules it hasn’t been easy.  For the most part, I am really proud of how we have pulled it all together.

But the start of this school year brought challenges like we’ve never seen before.  TWO out of our three kids are now in school all day.  Their school day now begins one full hour earlier, meaning they need to be in bed by 8pm.  That is the earliest possible time I can pop home for a rushed dinner break – IF it happens to be a slow news night. 

      Homework is getting more complex.  Ian is working more and more nights.  And even with a very capable and loving sitter in their lives, all three of our kids are beginning to show serious signs that they want and need their mom at home with them more.  Deep in my heart, I know I am not able to be the kind of mother I want to be while working until midnight five nights per week.

So, after lots of soul-searching, I have decided to make the leap out of television news and into a new field.  Starting at the end of this month I’ll be joining the communications team with Riley Children’s Foundation.   My new role will allow me to continue doing two things I love –  writing stories and helping children in this community –  through one of the city’s most respected institutions.  It will also allow me to spend much more time with my own kids at the times they need me home most.   Daisy, Clara and Cal think that is pretty okay.

My last day on the air with WRTV will be Sept. 23.  After that I’ll be watching from home, cheering on my former co-workers.  I hope you will do so too.

The joy you see in my daughter’s face here is how I feel about having found such a welcoming home here in Indy.   My family and I are now very  much looking forward to our next chapter here.

Thanks so much for your support.  May you continue to smile at all the gifts brought to you by the little people in your lives!

The things my kids love seem to drift and change like the wind, but looking at what they love most at any given moment, is a pretty good way to get inside their funny little heads.

This week, I have determined which things my three children cherish or covet most:

DAISY

     This one’s easy.  Her favorite thing in the world right now is her dog.  It was one of her first words, and remains one of my favorites, always said with bright-eyed 15-month-old excitement.  “DAH!” 

      Today Ian sent me this photo of little Daisy One Sock (which I have decided would certainly have been her Native American name if she had been born into that culture) and her best buddy.

     These two girls are constantly snuggled up against each other.  Stella the snow dog knows Daisy is her best chance for scraps of food and unlimited love and attention.  Ian and I love watching how gently Daisy pats her pup with tiny hands, then shuts her brown eyes and braces for the sloppy kisses that usually follow.

CLARA

           Her interests lately have been everywhere from cowboy boots to tent camping to SpongeBob, but this week one thing has captivated my 5-year-old more than anything else: COLOR.   The last two weeks in her class at school there was a theme color each day.  Clara could hardly wait until last Friday, when it was rainbow day.  She had rainbow striped socks, a rainbow t-shirt, and a skirt with polka dots in six different colors.

     Today, she used her allowance money to extend that rainbow into her long blonde tresses.  “Let’s fool Daddy and tell him we dyed your hair!” we conspired during a girls-only trip to the mall with her 17-year-old Aunt Elizabeth. 

      I think the streaky hair looks perfectly amazing with the sparkly rainbow t-shirt she’s been wearing for 3 days in a row.   If you tune in to 6 News  later this week and notice your anchor has pink and purple streaks in her hair, you will know I caught my daughter’s rainbow fever.

CALVIN

          Since he was a baby, Cal has tended to sink into fairly serious obsessions that last perhaps a few months, before evolving into something new.  For the past month, all he can talk about is how much he wants an iPod Touch.    He likes to list all the incredible features, search the internet for prices, and tell us all about all his friends who have them.  He is saving up his money, and pleading with anyone who will listen to contribute to his cause.

    “I didn’t get an iPod touch until this year, and I’m 17,” Aunt Elizabeth told him during her visit, putting a SERIOUS damper on his case.   She did, however, do Ian and I an enormous favor by offering to let Cal play the games in her device, but only after he helped with housework.  Good Auntie!

    Sometimes Calvin gets deliriously hopeful, like a man in a desert seeing a mirage.  Saturday with the kids loaded into the new minivan for errands I pulled up to a Petco.   “Are we going shopping for an iPod touch?!”   he wanted to know.  “No, but maybe we could build one out of dog food,” I offered.

           Ian thinks he’s not even close to ready for such a sophisticated and expensive device.  I know he’s right.   There’s a decent chance it would get broken, lost, or damaged.  I also know that it’s the ONLY thing he wants, and he has a 9th birthday coming up, quite a bit of his own money saved, and incredible power of persuasion over decision-makers such as grandparents.  

     Wish I had a crystal ball to see who’ll win this battle.  If I know one thing about  my son, it’s that he does not give up easily. 

   Have a great week!

     I cannot resist this dress.  It’s SO Lucy.  Clara wore it, and now it finally fits her baby sister.  I need to give this kid a football and teach her how to yank it away right when her big brother goes for the kick.

2-Van Family

       I hate it when my husband is right.  I knew I needed at least a SLIGHTLY roomier vehicle to haul around our three kids, their friends, and sometimes a huge dog and suitcases.  After trying to convince myself I could get away with a cute little SUV with third row seating, I have conceded it’s just not practical. 

      Ian’s been driving a van as long as I’ve known him because as a musician he needs to haul his drums around to gigs.  He has always claimed it makes sense to have a strictly business relationship with your vehicle.  “It has to WORK for you.  It doesn’t have to be sexy.  We can have cool cars when the kids are in college, “ Ian insisted.  “I’m telling you, a van is the only way to go. Sometimes I’m right, you know….” 

     I was a tough sell.  We looked at options.  A bunch of them.  I pictured squeezing kids in and out of the back of smaller SUVs and checked out the nonexistant cargo space in the back.  Eventually, I grudgingly wandered over to the minivans.  Doors slide open with the touch of a button.  8 people pack in like a clown car with ease, and room is left for a giant dog and suitcases.  And the clincher – the built-in DVD player with wireless headphones. 

So I caved.  And here it is.  The new family van.  Clara wanted to name it “The Big One.”  I’ve decided it sounds cooler en espanol, so “El Grande” it is. 

     On our first little trip across town I loaded in a SpongeBob DVD (he is the great uniter between the boy and girls in my family.)  The wireless headphones went on.  There was not a single peep, not a hint of conflict, not one moment of whining.  They sat motionless, transfixed on the talking sponge and starfish.  “Bobbob!” Daisy now says every time we get in the car, kicking and grinning, pointing up at the screen. 

  Also to be noted, I will never again have to hear the shrieks of “She’s touching me!!”  “He’s in my space!!”  Everyone now has their own touch-free zone.  Absolutely life-changing.

   I have decided, peace is worth more than image.  

Oh yeah, and there’s one more thing.  I can now listen to Elvis on satellite radio while everyone else zones out to SpongeBob.   

I can’t help falling in love.

The van beckons.

       With blue skies overhead, my mom and I brought all 3 kids out to the fair today.   I was a little surprised neither of the big kids wanted to try out the “RTV6 Weather Experience” and record a weathercast in the green wall at the Channel 6 booth.    “Are you sure you don’t want to try it?” I coaxed Clara. 

“Mom, you already asked me! I don’t want to!” she insisted.

Go figure – the children of the TV anchor are camera shy.   Tons of other kids got up and recorded adorable mini-weathercasts.  My kids chomped on corn-dogs and watched from the sidelines.

It’s been a crazy busy week for Ian and I with Drum Corps International World Championships going on.  He’s been working at the event, and I got pulled in to help host a cinecast of the competition last night to 550 movie theatres nationwide!  (Not the least bit intimidating…)   I cried uncle once I really grasped how busy our schedule was becoming, and thank goodness my mom was available to help with the kids for a few days.   She is my hero!!

After about an hour at the RTV6 fair booth shaking hands, signing autographs, and chatting with fairgoers, the midway finally opened.  I sent Cal, Clara, and a $20 bill with Grandma to try out the rides and games.

     Daisy and I wandered the area.  It was past naptime and while she wasn’t terribly fussy, she became surgically attached to her blankie.  She carted it around the fairgrounds, walking even more awkwardly than normal because of its bulk.  She toddled up to a pork tenderloin vendor with an interested look. 

 ”Hey, little cutie, want something to eat?” the friendly vendor joked.  She considered the offer, then clutched the blankie a little tighter, made a sudden turn  and started on a new path toward the moving fair tram.  Thank goodness for mom instincts and good reflexes. 

     Somehow in the commotion of grabbing her, rescuing the blankie from the ground and trying not to spill my water, I accidentally switched my camera to black and white.  So now we have this “vintage” look from the fair.

    Before we all left so I could get downtown to the newsroom, I helped Clara spend the last of the tickets by joining her on the ferris wheel. 

 ”It’s like you can see the whole country up here…” she said in awe.  We searched hard and spotted Calvin down on the ground, playing a dart game and winning a blue stuffed dog for his baby sister.

Leaving was hard.  They wanted to stay longer.  They wanted more rides.  They wanted fresh drinks.  Cal wanted French Fries.  Clara wanted a tram ride.  Daisy wanted to be in her crib at home. 

I wanted a shower and a nap.  And I’m pretty sure my mom did too.

It takes some stamina to “do” the fair.  But I’m glad it worked out for us this year, even though our visit was short and sweet.  

Just four more days until school starts.

Fair-well, summer….

SUMMER WINDS DOWN

Did any of you see the back to school coverage we had on RTV6 this week?  Warren Township was the first district in our area to go back to school.   As the bus pulled away, our cameras captured a very honest moment from a dad.  “Thank GOD!!!!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands toward the heavens.

I laughed so hard I nearly got hiccups.

 As much as we all love and adore our kids, I’d bet my velvet Elvis painting that most of you who have kids have had at least a MOMENT this summer that made you anxious for the school bell to ring.

I have moments of wanting to soak up every last minute of our summer days together.  And other moments when I’m counting the days until the squabbling siblings climb on the yellow bus, and put their energy to more productive use.

BASEBALL MOMS OUT ON THE TOWN

Now that baseball season is over, I miss seeing some of my fellow baseball parents.  But a couple weeks ago one of my favorite baseball moms and I escaped for a hilarious evening at the Comedy Sportz World Championships.  I got to sing the National Anthem, then act as a judge for the comedy competition.  

   I tried to take a self-portrait of Jeannie and I at the event, but I think I need to work on my technique. 

It’s slightly better than another I took at a fundraiser dinner…where I discovered the “zoom” function works very well on my camera.  We mamas sure know how to get wild….

TOUGH DAY

    Yesterday was an especially tough day.  My  husband, Ian, has been through several back surgeries, and still battles lingering chronic nerve pain.  The kids and I took him to the surgery center to get a pain block – basically like an epidural many moms get during childbirth, only his will hopefully last months instead of hours. 

   I HOPED the kids would all be on their best behavior as we waited for the nurses and doctors to get ready.  They posed adorably with Daddy for a photo.  But then they were hungry.  They were tired.  They were bored.  They were NOT getting along. 

    Ian even had to raise his voice a bit from his hospital bed, to try to restore some order to an escalating argument over a toy.  The kids took notice of the smackdown.  So did the amused nurse trying to take his blood pressure.  “Can you come do that at my house?” she asked her impatient patient.

  By the end of the brief visit, the older two had spilled apple juice on a chair, dropped a sandwich on the floor, and lost video game privileges for the rest of the day (horrors).  Poor exhausted baby Daisy fussed for an hour, before finally dropping off to sleep in her stroller – just as it was time to leave.

Ian got his pain block successfully.  

I felt like I could’ve used one too.

Have  a great week and enjoy the last blast of summer!

Trisha

Well, at least I tried.

And it was a valiant effort.

When my meteorologist buddy Kevin Gregory forecast 100 degrees for today, I knew I needed to make a “keep the kiddos busy without melting” plan. 

I started with Plan A:  a swim in the friendly neighbors’ pool.  We have a standing invitation to take a dip any time, and that has been an amazing gift.  We knocked on Norman’s door first thing this morning. Unfortunately, today, Norman  told us his usually crystal clear waters are out of commission right now, needing a little maintenance attention.  “It should be all ready for you by tomorrow!” he promised.

So I moved on to Plan B:  Inflate the large kiddie pool in the yard.  I dragged it out into a shady patch, and found the air pump in the basement.  Turned on the switch. NOTHING.  The gizmo is old, and completely beyond hope. 

I called every neighbor to borrow an air pump, but couldn’t find one.  By the time we headed to the nearest Target, found a pump, got back home, hooked up the extension cords, inflated the pool while sweating in the sun, and used the hose to fill it up, it was nearly noon.    “Come on out and swim!”  I called to my 8-year-old, Calvin.  “That’s okay, Mom, I don’t really feel like it.”

Grrrr….. of course not.

At least the girls were up for it. For 15 blissful minutes, I watched Daisy and Clara swim.   It may be the first time no one complained about the cold hose water.  I was up to my shins in it, and it felt amazing. 

(If you take a close look at Miss Daisy May’s nose, you’ll notice it’s a little more colorful than usual.  I guess every toddler who’s just learned to walk gets into a little scrape at some point, but this was a good one.  Faceplant into a sidewalk.  Wish I could kiss it away. )

Our moment of bliss was short-lived.  “Mom, I think we need a new pool!”  Clara reported. 

The darned thing was deflating before our eyes.  I found the little leak, but my quick patch-job didn’t really do the trick.  Even the dinosaur floatie raft wanted out.  The sad state you see here quickly turned into Niagara Falls.  Bye-bye swimming pool. 

Always looking for a silver lining, I came up with this: at least now we don’t have to worry about the Shepherd aquatic center killing yet another square-shaped patch of grass.

 Stay cool and thanks for reading!

Tantrum

      I’m a sucker for a good tantrum.  Out at the public pool today, Daisy May had her first official, authentic, head-on-the-ground, fist-banging-red-faced FIT.  She had picked up a dirty piece of Ritz cracker from the pool deck as we watched her brother and sister’s swim lessons.  I snatched it away just before she got it into her cute little mouth.  Cue the MELTDOWN.

    My newly engaged friend, Brooke was sipping Starbucks with me, witnessing the mini-tyrade.  She looked a little surprised when instead of grabbing the screaming child, I grabbed the camera. 

   “Sorry,” I told her.  “I just have to document this.”    A second later, I was offering Daisy a fresh cracker and comforting kisses as I wiped away the huge tears from her red cheeks.

I’m thinking now maybe I should send this photo in to the Ritz advertising folks?

Tooth Trauma

   Clara got a visit from the tooth fairy the other night.  The bottom right front tooth had been loose for months, and she was begging me to pull it.  We’d had no luck.

  Then the other day, she had two hilarious teenaged girls taking a babysitting shift.  The girls put their heads together and got an idea.  According to Clara, this is what happened:

   “Well….they took some floss and tied it around my tooth and tied the other end to the door andthen they SLAMMED IT AND THE TOOTHCAMEOUT ANDIDIDN’TEVEN FEEEEELIT!!!”

Most people have the same reaction.  “Oh my gosh – do people really DO that still?” 

Yes they do.  And apparently it works like a charm.  Clara is one bag of M&M’s and 5 quarters richer.

Taylor’s Escape

   Today, after the tantrum, I brought Clara to visit her friend Taylor at Riley Hospital for Children, where she’s spent a pretty unpleasant week.   No offense meant to the hospital – the new Simon Family Tower is actually beautiful and as impressive as it gets as far as hospitals go – gorgeous tile murals everywhere, beds for the parents, and a Wii in every room.  Still, I can think of about a million places any kid would rather be on a pretty summer day than in a hospital bed.

   Taylor was born with a liver disorder, and is prone to very serious infections that land her in the hospital every now and then.  Every episode is a roller coaster for her parents, who are close friends of ours.  Life and work get put on hold while they work with doctors to attack the virus attacking their little girl. 

For the first minute or two, Clara was a little shy, not knowing exactly how to maneuver around the hospital bed and IV.  But the ice melted quickly.  It was awesome to see the girls playing and giggling together…first in the hospital room, then in the hallway, racing up and down in a little red plastic car.  Right before we left, they got good news – Taylor was cleared to go home.

As the nurse wheeled Taylor down the hall in the little red car, Clara gently grabbed her friend’s hand and walked alongside her. 

We moms walked behind them, smiling at our girls, who are too young to realize how incredibly precious friendship like this is.

    Allow me the privilege of introducing you to the Hip Mamas!

I’ve been a part of this group for a couple of years now, and last night we held our big annual dinner event.   Normally we meet in smaller groups for everything from lunches, to playdates at the park, to girls’ night out  on the town.

      The idea is to bring together a variety of fun,  interesting, outgoing women who are looking to connect with each other, with and without little ones in tow.   All of us adore our children and embrace our roles as mothers.   I think most of us also make it a point not to let the other dimensions of ourselves get completely lost in our parenting roles.  It feels good to once in a while get out and engage in social and charity events that don’t involve discussions about spitup, tantrums, or sibling rivalry. 

Probably my favorite thing about this group is getting to know so many totally different types of women.  I find myself constantly picking their brains about how they balance motherhood with the rest of their lives.  Some work, some stay home, some do work-from-home businesses.  

     In one short evening, I had enough intriguing conversations with these fellow Generation X moms to write a book.

    I spoke with Keri,  a working mom of two young girls whose husband just lost a job, and found another – in Chicago.  Keri’s job is here in Indy with Lilly.  She kept a calm smile on her face while explaining the uncertainty her family is facing.

   I chatted with Karla, a recent transplant from Texas, who is bilingual and making sure her son learns her native Spanish as well.  She’s feeling a bit like a fish out of water, looking for more Spanish speakers to connect with.  (The two of us are working on playdates with other bilingual Hip Mamas since Spanish is a passion of mine!)  Karla stays at home right now, and clearly loves her little boy.  But I can hear the longing in her voice when she talks about her previous professional life.

     I smiled for a picture with Erika (right), the group’s organizer and social butterfly, a working mom of a 10-year-old who is recently remarried.  I watched her juggle, as always, the details of the event, making sure everyone was taken care of and having a great time.  Her enthusiasm for getting people together makes my head spin.  If you want to know where the fun is, or where the great deals are at restaurants, call Erika. 

     And then there’s Jenn, a charismatic publishing sales executive who recently moved from Boston to Carmel  for her career.  Her architect husband became a stay-at-home dad to their young son when the economy tanked.  She says that alone makes her family stick out like a sore thumb – but she says it works for them, and that’s what matters.   Her hubby has begun a small business on the side to earn extra money on the weekends.  Since there’s no work for him as an architect, he is washing people’s windows. 

          It’s certainly easy to have a “grass is greener” mentality when you see someone whose life situation seems more balanced and harmonious than your own.  But  personal connections have given me important perspective.  The more I scratch beneath the surface of other moms’ lives, I realize that ALL of us have challenges, worries, and dreams of making our family life just a little closer to ideal.

     Like Dorothy, it’s tempting to wish for that place over the rainbow where “skies are blue.”   But after stumbling down the yellow brick road, we hopefully look around and figure out what our  hearts tell us:  There’s no place like home.

No ruby slippers needed.  Chubby little fingers usually do the trick for me.

Have a great weekend!

Trish

I can’t decide whether to pat myself on the back or hang my head in shame for this one.

All I know is I saw a golden opportunity, and pounced on it.

I stopped by home on a quick dinner break, and Ian gave me the briefing:  5-year-old Clara had been through some sort of mini-meltdown, but made a tremendous recovery.

As she and her brother played downstairs, I stepped into Clara’s pink and purple bedroom with fairies on the walls, and discovered that it was anything but a fairy’s hideaway.   Stuffed animals, jewelry, hair ties, clothing, markers, and books littered every inch of the floor.

I could have summoned my little blonde force of nature upstairs and demanded she clean up every single item.  But I got an idea.

Moving with the speed only a mom on a mission can muster (or perhaps the Cat in the Hat with his magical clean-up machine) I made the mess disappear.  In less than 5 minutes, the room was pristine. 

 I found a sweet picture Clara had drawn on notebook paper, with hearts and stars and rainbows.  I put it in the center of her bed, along with a red, heart-shaped stone she calls her “peace heart.”

When she came upstairs minutes later to get into pj’s, I complimented her very casually.

“You did a nice job cleaning your room, hon.”

She looked around, remembering.

“Dad must have done it.  It wasn’t me,” she told me.

“Hey Ian,” I called to him, with a wink.  ”Did you clean Clara’s room? It looks really nice.”

“Nope, wasn’t me,” he told me.

“What?!” Clara started to get confused.

“Wow, that’s weird,” I said, still nonchalant.  “Who could have done it?  Calvin?”

At that point Clara shot me a look that can only be translated as, “Have you completely lost your mind, Mother?  Under what kind of apocolyptic circumstance can you possibly picture my 8-year-old brother cleaning MY room?”

“No, I suppose it wasn’t your brother,” I agreed.  ”Wait.  Wasn’t there something on your bed?” 

We walked to the bed together and looked at the peace heart and picture.

“I think it’s a message,” I told her in a hushed voice.  “I think the Peace Fairy has visited you.”

Ian chimed in.

“Oh, sure, it had to be the Peace Fairy.  Remember how upset you were earlier today, and how well you calmed down and got peaceful again?  I’ll bet she saw all of that, and wanted to thank you.”

Clara’s eyes became enormous round pools of blue.

“CALVIN!!!!!!” She screamed as she bolted down the stairs to deliver the news.  Ian and I choked back smiles as she explained the miracle to her dumbfounded brother in dramatic fashion, with her arms gesturing madly and her voice nearly shaking.  She showed her brother the peace heart, the picture, the spotless floor. 

“I am SO lucky!!” she giggled.

She turned toward her window and closed her eyes.

“Peace Fairy, please, please come back and visit, so I can see you?”

She didn’t show up that night. 

But something tells me the fairy just might make a return visit to the Shepherd house one of these days.

 SHE’S WALKING!  

 Now first of all, I SWEAR I don’t put anything in Daisy’s bottle but milk or watered down juice.  But watching my little one-year-old string together steps is exactly like watching someone try to walk the line on a field sobriety test after several strong martinis.  Each step requires a recalibration, arms out to the side to keep from tipping over.  Any obstacle or distraction results in an abrupt forfeiture to gravity.

   What I love most is how my girl doesn’t even bother to act surprised, or upset, or even frustrated by the repeated falling.  She barely even blinks as that round little bottom smacks into the floor for the 86th time in a row.  Holding a steady expression, she simply rolls over, pushes those chubby little knees back up off the floor, and tries again.

    Yesterday at the Children’s Museum while Clara seved Ian and I fake ice cream in the mini sweet shop, I caught Daisy in a very determined struggle – learning how to walk up and down a tiny ramp. 

Step, step, boom. 

Crawl to the top.

Step, step, stepstepstepstep boom! 

Crawl to the bottom. 

 Step, step, step, boom! 

      This repeated dozens of times.  I tried to help her, but she wanted to climb this “mountain” on her own.  So I started snapping pictures. 

   Finally, she made it all the way up onto the black and white checkered tiles.  

Her face looked as though she had summited Everest. 

Atta girl.

   TA-DA!

    Here it is – I believe the very first photo of my entire family of five.   It only took us 13 months to get all of us in front of a camera!   As usual, Daisy responded with her signature expression when the person holding the camera commanded us to “Smile!”

     The occasion was some friends’ amazing wedding on the bride’s family farm last weekend.  I will never forget the sights and sounds -  our musician friends playing at the edge of the cornfield as the sun set, our kids running around the rows of corn and dancing in the fresh air, the happy bride and groom surrounded by love and laughter.  May their marriage be as happy as their wedding day.

Have a great week!

Trisha